Hello (familiar and inviting term), I’m a (something unique and intriguing), and I’m trying to hook you into reading what I’d like to believe is an exceptional and superior blog. Though I don’t have enough confidence in myself to write anything honest and genuine, I do trust that the tips and tricks at the top of the Google-search food-chain are effective enough to fool you into taking the bait. It all started a few…….blah, blah, blahhh (generic feel-good filler stuff for a couple more paragraphs. Hopefully, by now, something of a rapport is established and you feel obligated to stick around).
Yaaaayyyyyy, I’m a successful blogger now!
Alright, now that you like me a bit, to the (right/left) are some links to things that you should buy so I can afford to skip the whole job thing and write about how great my nomadic freedom is and how you can do it too. (This is the only honest thing I’ve written thus far, minus the “you can do it too” bit).
Ugh! Not another one of those, please! Ok. It’s a deal. No more of that crap. Not on my watch, godammit! Not on MY watch!
This lil’ bloggy went to the market, this lil’ bloggy stayed home; THIS lil’ bloggy ate a bunch of mushrooms and jumped into the clouds; this lil’ bloggy tattooed itself and all of its friends and family; this lil’ bloggy went wee, wee, wee, in some public place in a foreign land, while inebriated, and had to run from the police. And THIS lil’ bloggy broke down in a rented car, on a back-route highway in Mexico at night, with its wife and in-laws, while smoking and drinking, and had to screw an un-threaded spark-plug into a hot engine with its fingers.
Yeah it’s gonna be that kind of show kids, so you had better get permission from you mommies and daddies to subscribe (see what I did there?), ‘cuz you can’t read it in “The Herald”, you can’t read it in “The Sun”, but you sure can read all about it in this here blog, “son”.
There are two main characters on this travel and adventure venture: my dear wife, and myself. I will be your blogger for the journey; the teller of tales; your dedicated scribe, and I shall be penning the collection of capers from this day forward. The nice parts of this website are my wife’s creation, I’m just the writer, and, consequently, I’m too unstable to be relied on for anything but recording the actions and consequences of my reliable instability.
Our kids are all growed up, and we are now on a mission to traipse across the globe, seeing and doing everything we can while we’re still able. We’d be delighted to have you join us on our adventures.
Come along as we jump out of airplanes in Africa; drink ourselves sideways under the sun in… well, everywhere; swim with sharks; walk across deserts; and summit the seven peaks, while doing our best to avoid having me get us both incarcerated for life in some gulag or another. So strap on your helmets and buckle-up, friends, it’s time to start the show.